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Summary of Transcript:
This is an interview about the book “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” with the author, Lori Gottlieb. The book follows the lives of five people in therapy, including the author herself, and explores getting unstuck and rewriting one’s narrative. Gottlieb believes therapy can help people revise the false records they come in with and reshape their personalities. She believes people have agency over their lives and can make choices that lead to freedom and change. Rather than just telling people what to do or think, therapists should help clients see their role in their problems and encourage them to take responsibility for their actions.
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Summary of Description:
In this episode of Impact Theory, Tom Bilyeu and psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb discuss the power of therapy, how to move forward from the past and achieve change, and the importance of self-compassion for leading a happy life. They explore ways to become unstuck from negative patterns, make true changes in life, cultivate self-compassion, embrace freedom and choice, understand other people’s perspectives, achieve forgiveness, and overcome trauma and pain. Gottlieb also shares her approach to therapy and her actionable homework assignments.
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The Power of Therapeutic Change: Moving Forward with Self-Compassion
Change can be a scary prospect for many people. Even when unhealthy, the familiar can be much more comforting than the unknown. But as a psychotherapist and author, Lori Gottlieb explains on an episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, change frees us from being stuck in our ways. It opens our lives to new opportunities, perspectives, and paths we didn’t even know existed. This article will delve into the key takeaways discussed in the episode, including how therapy can help us become unstuck, why self-compassion is crucial to leading a happy life, and ways to overcome trauma and pain.
The Power of Therapy in Becoming Unstuck
One of the key messages of the episode is that therapy can be incredibly powerful in helping people move forward in life. Whether dealing with trauma, negative patterns of behavior, or a general feeling of being stuck, therapy can offer a safe and supportive space to work through these issues. Lori stresses that the biggest transformations often come from small, almost invisible steps taken along the way. It is important to remember that therapy is not a quick fix but a process involving time and effort.
Achieving True Change: Moving Forward With Self-Compassion
Changing ingrained negative patterns in life can be challenging, but it is not impossible. One important aspect of this process that Lori emphasizes is the importance of self-compassion. When we forgive ourselves for past mistakes and allow ourselves to make mistakes in the present, we free ourselves to learn, grow and change. Treating ourselves with kindness and understanding as we navigate the change process can make all the difference. Treating ourselves with compassion and compassion as we guide the change process can make all the difference.
The Freedom of Choice and Understanding Perspective
It is also important to recognize that we always have choices in life, even when it may not feel that way. The episode highlights the power of taking a breath and feeling free to choose. Along with the freedom to choose, the importance of understanding and considering other people’s perspectives also comes into play. Empathy and putting ourselves in other people’s shoes can often open up a whole new world of possibilities and solutions.
Overcoming Trauma and Pain
Dealing with and moving beyond trauma and pain is an incredibly challenging journey. It is a deeply personal process and can take years, but navigating through it with the help of therapy can be transformative. For Lori, it is important to reframe our minds and let go of past events that have held us back. AShesays, “At some point, we can’t keep blaming an old version of ourselves for everything that went wrong.”
Moving Forward: Reframing Our Minds
While it is important to understand our past, it is also important not to let it define us. As we navigate through different stages of our lives, it is crucial to reframe our minds and shift our focus toward the freedom and possibilities that the future holds. Letting go of the past can be a difficult journey; with therapy, self-compassion, and understanding, we can make significant strides in moving toward the future we want.
In conclusion, therapy can be a powerful tool to help us become unstuck and create positive change in our lives. By practicing self-compassion, understanding others’ perspectives, and reframing our minds toward possibilities, we can move beyond trauma and pain and make significant strides in achieving the desired change. Remember that change is not a quick fix but a process that requires time, effort, and patience. But with the support and guidance of a qualified therapist, it is possible to make transformative changes and finally live the life we want.
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Source Description
Change. It frees us from being stuck in our ways and opens our lives to new opportunities, perspectives, and paths that we didn’t even know existed. What holds us back from accomplishing it, why do we fail time and time again in pursuit of it, and how can we achieve it once and for all?
On this episode of Impact Theory, Tom Bilyeu joins psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb to discuss such matters and more as they explore the power of therapy, how to move on from your past and forwards toward change, and why self-compassion is crucial to leading a happy life. They discuss how to become unstuck in your negative ways, how to achieve change in your life, truly why it’s vital you need to have self-compassion, the freedom in knowing you have choices, how to see things from other people’s perspectives, how forgiveness is truly achieved, and ways to overcome trauma and pain.
Order Lori’s Book, ‘Maybe You Should Talk To Someone’: lorigottlieb.com/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone
SHOW NOTES:
Stories | Lori shares the power of stories and why she chose that approach for her book. [0:10]
Unstuck | Lori discusses the energy of therapy and its ability to move you forward in life. [1:23]
Change | Lori discusses our incredible ability to make changes to our personalities. [2:57]
Approach | Lori shares her practice as a therapist to encourage her patients to change. [4:41]
Choice | Lori discusses why people face such challenges when making a change. [6:35]
Comfort | Lori shares how she makes her patients comfortable with change. [9:10]
The List | Lori shares the guideline to help you begin moving toward change. [10:05]
Self-Compassion | Lori discusses how to develop self-compassion in your life. [14:29]
Cognitive | Lori shares her approach to cognitive behavioral therapy. [15:57]
Homework | Lori reveals the actionable task she assigns to those that seek it. [16:45]
Freedom | Lori discusses the power of taking a breath and feeling the freedom of choice. [17:56]
Perspectives | Lori is passionate about putting herself in other people’s shoes. [20:59]
Betrayal | Lori shares how she approaches cases of patients with hurting relationships. [23:41]
Cheating | Lori discusses what could have been happening when a partner cheats. [25:35]
Patterns | Lori shares examples of unfinished business brought into relationships. [27:00]
Childhood | Lori discusses the influence of your childhood self on your adult self. [28:27]
Forgiveness | Lori discusses the true nature of forgiveness and how it’s achieved. [29:50]
Overcome | Loris outlines how a couple can come back together after betrayal. [35:43]
The Sexes | Lori shares the similarities between men and women in therapy. [38:23]
Trauma | Lori discusses pain and how it shapes our personalities if we don’t heal. [41:53]
Move Forward | Lori shares why you need to accept the freedom of adulthood. [44:36]
Reframe | Lori discusses how to frame your mind to let go and move forward. [46:36]
Connect | Lori shares how you can continue to follow her and stay connected. [47:50]
QUOTES:
“…some of us, like sort of human nature, would rather stay in the familiar place, even if the familiar is miserable or unpleasant, than to say I’m gonna risk something and go to this place that makes me uncomfortable.” [7:47]
“Most big transformations come from the tiny, almost imperceptible, steps to take along the way.” [9:49]
“People act a certain way because they have to keep you at a distance so you can’t see their pain.” [43:16]
FOLLOW LORI:
Website: lorigottlieb.com
TED Talk: ted.com/speakers/lori_gottlieb
Podcast: lorigottlieb.com/podcast
Column: theatlantic.com/projects/dear-therapist
Twitter: twitter.com/LoriGottlieb1
Facebook: facebook.com/GottliebLori
Instagram: instagram.com/lorigottlieb_author
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