Summary of 3 Principles for a Better Life:
This principle suggests that we should balance self-acceptance and self-improvement to embrace both simultaneously. This principle encourages us to accept ourselves as we are while trying to become better versions of ourselves. It reminds us to be kind to ourselves, forgive our mistakes, and recognize our worthwhile pushing ourselves to grow and develop.
*****
You Are Already Good Enough, But You Can Always Be Better
I first heard this statement muttered by a zen master at a meditation retreat in my early twenties, and it’s stubbornly stuck with me ever since. The older I get, the more wisdom I see in it. You are already good enough as you are… but you can always be better.
The Tension Between Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement
There is an inherent tension between self-acceptance and self-improvement. This tension is within each of us. On the one hand, we want to feel at peace with ourselves, to understand that we are good, valuable, worthy human beings and deserve love, respect, and occasional backrubs.
We could be better in many ways—to learn more, achieve more, grow more, etc. On the other hand, unless you’re comatose, it’s abundantly clear that we have no fucking clue what we’re doing most of the time. We mess up all the damn time.
The Beauty of the Principle
I love this principle because it acknowledges that this internal tension will never disappear. It doesn’t matter how productive, competent, and excellent you become; there will always be something that you suck at. That gnawing sense of inadequacy will never be conquered. There is no perfection, only progress.
But, at the same time, you are still a worthy and valuable human being, regardless of how screwed up you are, f how many mistakes you’ve made, and how much room for growth you may have.
Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement Need Each Other
The beauty of this principle is that it shows that self-acceptance and self-improvement need each other—that having one without the other inevitably leads to dysfunction. If you are all self-improvement with no self-acceptance, you become a neurotic, hyper-critical, over-anxious mess. If you’re all self-acceptance without self-improvement, then you become a lazy, indulgent, selfish twat.
The Bottom Line
Self-acceptance doesn’t work without self-improvement. Self-improvement doesn’t work without self-acceptance. You are perfect just as you are… but you can always be better.
