Setting Good Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries are important in any relationship, whether they are physical or metaphysical. This episode looks at how to set good boundaries in our relationships, and how to make sure we are still being fair and loving to our loved ones. We explore the problem of living and loving without boundaries, and how this can lead to codependent relationships. We also look at the solution of asking ourselves why we want to set boundaries, and what we get out of the relationship.
The Problem
When physical, boundaries are obvious. But what about boundaries that we can’t see or touch? We can think of these boundaries as metaphysical, but is it possible that they are just as important as the physical ones? Today, we’re going to be exploring what boundaries look like in the context of relationships.
Digging Deeper
Establishing boundaries in relationships gives us permission to say “no.” It’s common to fear this, especially if we are prone to people-pleasing. When we develop a codependent relationship with another person, whether it’s a friend, parent, or partner, we may develop the idea that if we say “no” to this person, they will leave us or love us less. In reality, you are worthy of being loved as a whole and individual person, regardless of whether or not you are constantly available to someone.
The Solution
To begin, we want to ask ourselves “why?” Why do we want to start establishing boundaries with our loved ones? Each relationship in your life likely has a different reason for needing boundaries, but think of one in particular where you’d like to begin. Once we know where we’d like to begin, it’s time to decide what it is that we actually want from this relationship… and really think. What is it that you get out of having this person in your life? How do they bring joy to your life? In what ways? Decide what the specific boundaries are that you’d like to set. Maybe you only answer your friend’s phone calls when you have spare time and YOU want to catch up, not when they call to vent to you every night.
Resources
- Written By: Sophie Sumpter
- Join Tiny Leaps Plus
- Why Boundaries are Important in Relationships
- How to Set Boundaries in Relationships
- Boundaries in Relationships
