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Summary of Transcript:
The YouTube video features an interview with Professor Jamil Zaki, who authored the book “The War for Kindness.” Zaki discusses the evolutionary roots of kindness and empathy, which were once thought to be a liability in the survival of a species but are now seen as key ingredients in collaboration and success. He highlights the importance of human connection, often inhibited by modern trends such as political polarization and technology. The interview also touches on the importance of reciprocity and kin selection in the evolution of kindness and the contrast between Machiavellian and collaborative intelligence hypotheses about human intelligence.
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Summary of Description:
In this episode of Impact Theory, Stanford professor and psychologist Jamil Saki discuss empathy, sympathy, and kindness and their role in achieving personal goals. He explains the distinction between these skills, their evolutionary value, and how they led to the success of relationships, communities, and humanity. Saki defines the elements of empathy and how it is vital for relationships and achieving goals. He also discusses building and improving empathy skills to achieve personal growth. Saki’s writing on the topic has appeared in several renowned publications, and he is the author of the book, “The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World.”
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Exploring the Evolutionary Value of Empathy, Sympathy, and Kindness with Jamil Zaki
Humans associate empathy, sympathy, and kindness with traits that separate us from other animals. But according to Jamil Zaki, a psychology professor at Stanford University, these skills may be essential to our survival and evolution as a species. In this episode of Impact Theory, Zaki discusses his new book, The War for Kindness, and the importance of empathy and kindness in achieving our goals.
Debunking the myth of survival of the fittest, Zaki highlights the success of species that work together and collaborate—kindness, he argues, may be the key to survival and evolution. Zaki defines empathy as a vital skill for building relationships and achieving goals and outlines three parts that represent the full range of empathy for connecting with others.
Zaki also distinguishes between empathy, sympathy, and kindness, noting that the heart doesn’t necessarily mean we must feel the same pain as others. He recommends approaching nature like an “empathy gym” to build and improve these skills over time.
Throughout the episode, Zaki draws on examples from history and his personal experiences to illustrate the power of empathy and kindness. He explains how story-telling can heal and build empathy and how conflict often leads to the selective heart.
This conversation is a thought-provoking exploration of what makes us uniquely human and how empathy, sympathy, and kindness may be the secret ingredients to our success as a species. Whether you’re looking to build better relationships, achieve your goals, or understand yourself and others better, this episode is worth a listen.
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Source Description
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Empathy, sympathy, and kindness may seem like elements of a civilized society, something that only highly evolved humans have achieved after overcoming the basic requirements for survival. They may even seem at odds with the core tenants of evolution and survival of the fittest. Stanford professor and psychologist Jamil Saki joins me to discuss the distinction between these skills, their evolutionary value, and how they are critical today as you drive towards achieving your goals. Empathy may be the secret ingredient for flourishing relationships, communities, and humanity.
Order Jamil Zaki’s new book, The War for Kindness: https://www.amazon.com/War-Kindness-Building-Empathy-Fractured/dp/0451499247
War For Kindness Empathy Gym: https://www.warforkindness.com/challenges
SHOW NOTES:
War For Kindness | Jamil explains the oxymoron and the need to fight separation [0:26]
Darwin Debunked | Jamil on how much more successful species are working together [2:26]
Kindness Wins | 2 ways kindness is proven to be an evolutionary winner & key to success [4:04]
Collaborative Intelligence | Why humans have evolved intelligence to collaborate and win [6:10]
Cooperation | Jamil on the effectiveness of collaboration to advance culture and society [9:24]
Empathy | Jamil on why empathy is a vital skill for relationships and achieving goals [10:34]
Defining Empathy | 3 parts that represent the full range of empathy for connecting to others [11:56]
Empathy & Kindness | Why you can have one without the other and how it’s less healthy [13:00]
Sympathy | Why Jamil avoids this term and feels the word has been compromised [14:19]
Helpful Empathy | Jamil explains why certain parts of empathy are not always useful [20:13]
Survival Skill | How Jamil landed his passion for exploring empathy as a psychologist [21:57]
Parochial Empathy | Jamil on how conflict leads us to selective empathy [26:24]
Train Up Empathy | Jamil shares ways to build and improve empathy [30:08]
Rwanda Genocide | How story-telling is being used to heal and find empathy [34:27]
Contact | How prejudice & hatred are easiest at a distance and how Tony found empathy [38:33]
QUOTES:
“Empathy is a vital skill that allows us to accomplish a lot of our goals” [10:47]
“Sometimes I think people imagine that empathizing has to mean, I hurt when you hurt, and if we believe that, then that can get us into some cul de sac with our process of empathy that we don’t need to go into.” [21:32]
“I think of my parent’s divorce like an empathy gym.” [23:43]
“When we immerse ourselves in those stories, we can build our empathy towards real people, we can broaden our care towards real others, and that can be another really powerful way to practice this sort of personal growth” [38:05]
Guest Bio:
JAMIL ZAKI is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. Using tools from psychology and neuroscience, he and his colleagues examine how empathy works and how people can learn to empathize more effectively. His writing on these topics has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the New Yorker, and the Atlantic. He lives in San Francisco with his wife and their two daughters.
Follow Jamil Zaki:
Website: https://www.warforkindness.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamil-zaki-b0b4a9192/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jazzmule
Twitter: https://twitter.com/zakijam
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