Summary of How to Make Friends as an Adult:
The article argues that while romantic relationships get a lot of attention, friendships are just as important for our health and happiness. However, creating lasting friendships as an adult can be difficult due to the emotional challenges of vulnerability and fear of rejection, as well as logistical challenges of limited time and energy. The article provides four counterintuitive principles for making lasting friendships in adulthood, including focusing on yourself first, embracing rejection as an opportunity to learn and grow, being more selective in choosing friends, and dropping expectations of others and focusing on giving without expecting anything in return.
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Why friendships are just as important as romantic relationships
Romantic relationships might be portrayed in movies, TV shows, and social media as the pinnacle of happiness and fulfillment in life. However, friendships are just as vital for our health and wellbeing. Making and maintaining friendships as an adult can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. In this article, we’ll explore why it’s challenging to make friends as an adult, what are some emotional challenges we face, and most importantly, some counterintuitive principles to make and maintain friendships in adulthood.
Why is it difficult to make friends as an adult?
As we progress through life, our responsibilities and commitments grow, making it harder to find time for socializing. Additionally, we tend to be set in our ways and less willing to step out of our comfort zones and make new connections. There’s also a fear of rejection, which can be emotionally painful and discouraging.
Emotional challenges we face in making friends as adults
Fear of rejection is the most significant emotional challenge that adults face when making friends. When we try to form new relationships, we open ourselves up to rejection, which can be emotionally difficult to handle. Society puts immense pressure on individuals to fit in and not appear desperate or creepy, which makes socializing even more challenging.
Another emotional challenge is the fear of being vulnerable, which is necessary to form deep, meaningful connections, including friendships. Being vulnerable means opening up to others and showing our true selves, including our imperfections. This can feel incredibly scary as we risk judgment, rejection, and hurt.
Counterintuitive principles to make and maintain friendships in adulthood
1. Focus on Self.
Making friends as an adult can be challenging, but the key is to focus on yourself. Pursue your interests and goals with confidence, and you’ll naturally attract like-minded individuals. Additionally, taking care of your own shit allows you to be emotionally self-sufficient, making you a better friend in the long run.
2. Seek More Rejection, Not Less.
Rather than fearing rejection, embrace it. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow. Recognize that rejection does not define you as a person and see it as a way to weed out wrong connections.
3. Be More Selective.
Rather than trying to connect with everyone, focus on building deep, meaningful connections with a few key individuals. A small group of friends who truly understand and support you is better than a large network of superficial connections.
4. Drop Your Expectations of Others.
Approach social interactions with an open mind and heart. Offer your time, resources, and expertise freely, without expecting anything in return. This generosity is more likely to be reciprocated and appreciated.
Conclusion
In conclusion, making and maintaining friendships as an adult can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. It’s essential to recognize the emotional challenges we face and adopt counterintuitive principles to build meaningful connections. Remember, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships and are vital to our happiness and wellbeing.
